I started a new 365-day Bible reading plan at the first of the year. As you would expect, it starts at the beginning and ends at the end of the Bible. So, there I was starting in Genesis reading the old Bible stories that I have heard since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I have heard or read these stories so many times that I was wondering if I could really learn anything new. It did not take long for God to reach down and cuff me one with a resounding, "Yes!"
I was reading the story of Noah and the ark and how God had told Noah that He was going to destroy all living things on the face of the earth. God gave Noah instructions on how to build the ark and how many of each type of animal was to be brought on the ark. Then tucked in the story was this short verse:
“And Noah did all as God had commanded.”
It would take Noah 120 years to build the ark, but he did everything just as God had commanded. That is a long-term commitment to God’s plan. I know that I have a hard time doing what God commands for just a day or two. I have only been at this cancer-fighting thing for six months, and there are days that I get frustrated with the pace things are moving. Those are the days that I have to remind myself that God has a plan, and I have to stick with it.
Once the waters began to recede, Noah began sending out birds to see if the land was dry. Finally, a dove returned with an olive branch and gave Noah the assurance that the land was dry. However, Noah did not leave the ark. He waited for God to tell him it was time to leave the ark. I am pretty sure that after spending 120 years building, living with all of those animals, and enduring rain for forty days and nights, I couldn't have waited to get out of there. That is another failing of mine: I do not enjoy waiting but, slowly, God is teaching me.
These past few weeks there has been a consistent theme running through my life. From Noah to messages I have heard on television and radio, all of them have been about God’s will in your life and waiting. Sometimes it feels like God is only working when I see things happening, but I am beginning to learn that God is in the waiting, too.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
The Process
During the diagnosis phase, I started asking my pulmonologist some questions concerning what may lay ahead. He answered me with, “You have to understand that you have started a process. There are many steps that will have to be taken in order, and each will take time.” Of course, he was speaking from the medical perspective, but over the last few months, I have started to learn that this is also true from a spiritual perspective as well.
While I was recovering from the radiation treatments and preparing to begin chemo treatments, I completed my study of the Psalms. During this time, I became even more convinced that I will be healed from this cancer. This conviction lead to me ask the following question of God: "If you are going to heal me, why put me through radiation, chemo, and all of these tests and treatments? Why not just heal me now?” Then one morning when I woke up, the first thing to come to mind was Lazarus. That thought seemed out of place with what I had been reading, so I ignored it and pushed it out of my mind. I admit that I am not the sharpest tack in the box sometimes, but when it happened two more mornings, I finally took the hint and opened my Bible to the story of Lazarus in John 11 and 12.
The first thing that I noticed is that Jesus knew that the sickness would not end in death but for the glory of God and so that the Son of God would be glorified. Also, even though Jesus loved Lazarus, He waited to go to him. I, too, will wait so that the Son of God will be glorified in my healing. I will admit that I do not like waiting. I want this process to move faster than it is, but at each phase of my treatment, we learn something new that we would not have learned if we were moving faster.
The second thing I noticed is that Lazarus’ sisters asked a variation of my question to Jesus. “If you had come sooner, you could have healed him.” Jesus tries to explain to them about the resurrection and life, but when they and the crowds with them continue to weep, He sees their doubt and is deeply troubled. It strikes me that my question shows that I also have some doubt about God’s plan and the process He is putting me through. Sometimes doubt enters my thoughts, but I still maintain the faith in my heart. The one thing I do not want to do is grieve Jesus with my doubt.
The final thing that I noticed is that the chief priest started making plans to kill Lazarus. Why? Because he had become a witness for Jesus. Large crowds were gathering to see him. This part makes me smile a little. I like to imagine Lazarus being at dinner or out on the street and a large crowd gathers to look at him. Finally someone musters the courage to ask him, “Hey, aren’t you the Lazarus that died?” And he answers, “Yes, I am, and let me tell you what Jesus did for me.” This makes me look forward to the day that someone comes up to me and says, “Hey, aren’t you the Chris Haga who had lung cancer?” And I can answer, “Yes, I am, and let me tell you what Jesus did for me.”
Most of all, through all of this I am learning that God has a plan for the rest of my life, and He only reveals to me what I need to know for each day. It has become evident to me that part of the plan includes a process of refinement for me. The process is not pleasant and can be real uncomfortable at times, and I want it to move faster than it is, but I know when it is completed I will be a better witness for Jesus.
I awoke one morning with these words in my head: "To rush the process would be to ruin the process." So, I will wait, watch, listen, and pray to be ready when the process is complete in His timing.
While I was recovering from the radiation treatments and preparing to begin chemo treatments, I completed my study of the Psalms. During this time, I became even more convinced that I will be healed from this cancer. This conviction lead to me ask the following question of God: "If you are going to heal me, why put me through radiation, chemo, and all of these tests and treatments? Why not just heal me now?” Then one morning when I woke up, the first thing to come to mind was Lazarus. That thought seemed out of place with what I had been reading, so I ignored it and pushed it out of my mind. I admit that I am not the sharpest tack in the box sometimes, but when it happened two more mornings, I finally took the hint and opened my Bible to the story of Lazarus in John 11 and 12.
The first thing that I noticed is that Jesus knew that the sickness would not end in death but for the glory of God and so that the Son of God would be glorified. Also, even though Jesus loved Lazarus, He waited to go to him. I, too, will wait so that the Son of God will be glorified in my healing. I will admit that I do not like waiting. I want this process to move faster than it is, but at each phase of my treatment, we learn something new that we would not have learned if we were moving faster.
The second thing I noticed is that Lazarus’ sisters asked a variation of my question to Jesus. “If you had come sooner, you could have healed him.” Jesus tries to explain to them about the resurrection and life, but when they and the crowds with them continue to weep, He sees their doubt and is deeply troubled. It strikes me that my question shows that I also have some doubt about God’s plan and the process He is putting me through. Sometimes doubt enters my thoughts, but I still maintain the faith in my heart. The one thing I do not want to do is grieve Jesus with my doubt.
The final thing that I noticed is that the chief priest started making plans to kill Lazarus. Why? Because he had become a witness for Jesus. Large crowds were gathering to see him. This part makes me smile a little. I like to imagine Lazarus being at dinner or out on the street and a large crowd gathers to look at him. Finally someone musters the courage to ask him, “Hey, aren’t you the Lazarus that died?” And he answers, “Yes, I am, and let me tell you what Jesus did for me.” This makes me look forward to the day that someone comes up to me and says, “Hey, aren’t you the Chris Haga who had lung cancer?” And I can answer, “Yes, I am, and let me tell you what Jesus did for me.”
Most of all, through all of this I am learning that God has a plan for the rest of my life, and He only reveals to me what I need to know for each day. It has become evident to me that part of the plan includes a process of refinement for me. The process is not pleasant and can be real uncomfortable at times, and I want it to move faster than it is, but I know when it is completed I will be a better witness for Jesus.
I awoke one morning with these words in my head: "To rush the process would be to ruin the process." So, I will wait, watch, listen, and pray to be ready when the process is complete in His timing.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Like Gold in a Pig's Nose
For part of my Christmas, the boys dressed up my bike. They took my bike and put a set of Chad's Zipp racing wheels on it and thereby tripled the value of my bike. I have to admit that it looks pretty cool. I wish I could make it go as fast as it looks like it should go.
I had to take the photo because I know that the wheels will not stay on it. The bottom line is that putting these wheels on this bike is an insult to the wheels. This is the twenty-first century equivalent of putting a gold ring in a pig's nose. Anyone who knows anything about bicycles could tell you that these wheels do not belong on this bike. The combination of the wheels and bike are all show and no go.
After seeing my bike like this, I began to wonder what other parts of my life are being dressed up by things that don't belong there. I have long since given up making New Year's resolutions, but this year I have begun praying that God would show me the gold rings in this old pig's nose. It is time for them to go.
I had to take the photo because I know that the wheels will not stay on it. The bottom line is that putting these wheels on this bike is an insult to the wheels. This is the twenty-first century equivalent of putting a gold ring in a pig's nose. Anyone who knows anything about bicycles could tell you that these wheels do not belong on this bike. The combination of the wheels and bike are all show and no go.
After seeing my bike like this, I began to wonder what other parts of my life are being dressed up by things that don't belong there. I have long since given up making New Year's resolutions, but this year I have begun praying that God would show me the gold rings in this old pig's nose. It is time for them to go.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
A Simple, Focused Christmas
Displayed in the entry way of our home is a small Nativity scene. There is nothing fancy about it, and I have often thought of replacing it with a nicer one. But this year, I have decided I rather like it. This Nativity scene is simple, and I find that it reminds me of the very first Christmas. Mary, Joseph, Jesus, a stable and a manger--simple. We have way over complicated Christmas. This year I long for a simple Christmas.
Yesterday morning in a fit of photographic expression, I took this picture of our Nativity scene.
You may not notice, but in this image there is only one figurine in focus. I intentionally shot the image so that only the Baby Jesus in the manger would be in focus. This Christmas more than ever I want my focus to be on Jesus.
This year I desire a simple Christmas focused on Jesus!
"Today in the town of David a Savior has been born
to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign
to you; You will find a baby wrapped in clothes and
lying in a manger." Luke 2:11-12
Hail the heaven-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the sun of Righteousness!
Light and Life to all He brings,
Risen with healing in his wings.
Wishing all of you a simple, focused and very Merry Christmas!
Yesterday morning in a fit of photographic expression, I took this picture of our Nativity scene.
You may not notice, but in this image there is only one figurine in focus. I intentionally shot the image so that only the Baby Jesus in the manger would be in focus. This Christmas more than ever I want my focus to be on Jesus.
This year I desire a simple Christmas focused on Jesus!
"Today in the town of David a Savior has been born
to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign
to you; You will find a baby wrapped in clothes and
lying in a manger." Luke 2:11-12
Hail the heaven-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the sun of Righteousness!
Light and Life to all He brings,
Risen with healing in his wings.
Wishing all of you a simple, focused and very Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
The Forgotten Gift
Driving back from Houston, I started revisiting Christmases from when Chad and Shane were little boys. One memory popped into my head that made me chuckle. This particular Christmas, the boys were into Batman and Robin. I had been out shopping and bought them some figurines for stocking stuffers. When I got home, I hid them up on the shelf in the closet, where I forgot about them. A few months later I pulled something off of the shelf and the figurines fell at my feet. By this time the boys had moved onto something else and did not have much use for Batman and Robin. I am sure that I am not the only person to forget a Christmas gift and won’t be the last.
The tradition of exchanging gifts stems from the Three Wise Men bringing their gifts to Jesus. We see the scene every year played out in Christmas pageants and nativity scenes. In honor of this tradition, we get up early on Christmas morning and watch the paper fly. A lot of the gifts we receive are put on the shelf and forgotten about. I am not sure whatever became of the gold, frankincense, and myrrh but I am sure Mary and Joseph did not set them aside and forget them.
Think about it like this, of all of the Christmas gifts that you have given, how many do you remember? Or, of all of the gifts that you have received, how many do you remember? If you are like me, the gifts you remember are the ones that cost the most. I don’t mean from a financial perspective but the gifts that people put some thought and effort into. Yet, when we look at the manger, we tend to forget the most important and costly gift that was there. In all of the rushing, planning, and parties that have become Christmas we have put it up on the shelf and forgotten it. The gift that I am referring to is the one that the babe in the manger brought. That babe in the manger brought with Him salvation for all mankind. A gift for all of us that all we have to do is accept. At this time of the year we do not want to mar the clean pristine images of Christmas with the ugly images of a beaten and battered Jesus hanging on a cross. When you see the babe in the manger this year, think about what He came to do and what it cost Him.
This Christmas, if you have already accepted this gift, then give Jesus some extra praise. If you are someone who has accepted this gift but has put it up on the shelf, why not make this the Christmas to take it down, dust it off and embrace it once again? If you have not accepted the gift of salvation, why not make this the Christmas to accept this very special gift that will last for eternity?
The tradition of exchanging gifts stems from the Three Wise Men bringing their gifts to Jesus. We see the scene every year played out in Christmas pageants and nativity scenes. In honor of this tradition, we get up early on Christmas morning and watch the paper fly. A lot of the gifts we receive are put on the shelf and forgotten about. I am not sure whatever became of the gold, frankincense, and myrrh but I am sure Mary and Joseph did not set them aside and forget them.
Think about it like this, of all of the Christmas gifts that you have given, how many do you remember? Or, of all of the gifts that you have received, how many do you remember? If you are like me, the gifts you remember are the ones that cost the most. I don’t mean from a financial perspective but the gifts that people put some thought and effort into. Yet, when we look at the manger, we tend to forget the most important and costly gift that was there. In all of the rushing, planning, and parties that have become Christmas we have put it up on the shelf and forgotten it. The gift that I am referring to is the one that the babe in the manger brought. That babe in the manger brought with Him salvation for all mankind. A gift for all of us that all we have to do is accept. At this time of the year we do not want to mar the clean pristine images of Christmas with the ugly images of a beaten and battered Jesus hanging on a cross. When you see the babe in the manger this year, think about what He came to do and what it cost Him.
This Christmas, if you have already accepted this gift, then give Jesus some extra praise. If you are someone who has accepted this gift but has put it up on the shelf, why not make this the Christmas to take it down, dust it off and embrace it once again? If you have not accepted the gift of salvation, why not make this the Christmas to accept this very special gift that will last for eternity?
Monday, December 13, 2010
My Psalm
I have been reading a book where the author comments about the importance of personalizing scripture. After having delayed chemotherapy for the second time, I prayed that God would prepare me for yet a third time, and I felt led to begin reading ten Psalms each morning and underlining parts that touched me. I then read back the underlined portions to God as my morning prayer. I am surprised each morning at the prayer that emerges from the verses. I have yet to make it through a single prayer without weeping.
There are other Psalms that I will replace a few words, and these are becoming the Psalms that God is using to prepare me for my upcoming treatments. The Psalms of David are the ones that seem to translate the easiest. David was tormented by his enemies and his own sins, and he always poured his heart out to God. One morning Psalm 27 was in my reading, and as I read the first verse a few new words popped into my head. My new Psalm reads like this:
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
What shall I fear?
The Lord is the defense of my life;
What treatment shall I dread?
So with these words on my lips and in my heart, God is preparing me for the next leg in this journey to defeat cancer. Only He knows what lies ahead on this path, but I am assured that He has gone before me and is my light and defender.
There are other Psalms that I will replace a few words, and these are becoming the Psalms that God is using to prepare me for my upcoming treatments. The Psalms of David are the ones that seem to translate the easiest. David was tormented by his enemies and his own sins, and he always poured his heart out to God. One morning Psalm 27 was in my reading, and as I read the first verse a few new words popped into my head. My new Psalm reads like this:
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
What shall I fear?
The Lord is the defense of my life;
What treatment shall I dread?
So with these words on my lips and in my heart, God is preparing me for the next leg in this journey to defeat cancer. Only He knows what lies ahead on this path, but I am assured that He has gone before me and is my light and defender.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
My Christmas Wish
Christmas time is here again. Time once again for all of us to be blessed by the children’s Christmas pageants. The one character in the play that no little kid wants to get stuck with is that of the inn keeper. Who would want to be the person to tell Joseph that there is no room for them? However, I think if we look at Jesus’ birth a little differently, we might see that we have more in common with the inn keeper than we think.
Mary and Joseph had traveled a long way. They hadn’t been traveling because they wanted to; they were going to the City of David because Caesar had ordered a census and they had to travel back to Joseph’s home town to be counted. What a long journey it had been; Mary, nine months pregnant with her first son Jesus, was ready to give birth. What a time it must have been for them: Their first son would be God as a baby. What roads lay ahead of them? They were unsure; all they knew was that their lives were going to be changed. But for now, Joseph needed to find them a place to stay.
They went to an inn and were told that there was no room for them there, but they were welcome to stay in the stable out back. I wonder what would have happened if Joseph would have told the inn keeper that the Son of God was about to be born. Would the inn keeper have asked all of the other boarders to leave and go sleep in the stable? Or would he just have asked the people staying in the best room to stay in the stable? I’ll never know because Joseph didn’t tell the inn keeper that a miracle was about to happen, and so Jesus came into the world having already been turned away.
As I think about Jesus’ birth in the stable, I wonder if we, some 2000 years later, are any different than the inn keeper. We go to church, read our Bibles or a special story, and something, even for a brief moment, touches our hearts and Jesus knocks. “Is there room for Me here?” He asks. We tell Him no, we can’t make room for Him, but He can stay out back. We don’t want to give up any of the rooms in our hearts, not the rooms where the ambition stays, or where our desires reside, or the dislike for that neighbor or any of the other secret rooms. Those are our rooms and we like them the way they are, and so we turn Jesus away.
Much like the inn keeper, we miss something really big. We are willing to sacrifice what Jesus wants to do because we do not want to be inconvenienced with a little house cleaning. This year I have a simple Christmas wish: When we feel Him knocking, let’s make room for Jesus.
"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with them, and he with me." - Revelation 3:20
Mary and Joseph had traveled a long way. They hadn’t been traveling because they wanted to; they were going to the City of David because Caesar had ordered a census and they had to travel back to Joseph’s home town to be counted. What a long journey it had been; Mary, nine months pregnant with her first son Jesus, was ready to give birth. What a time it must have been for them: Their first son would be God as a baby. What roads lay ahead of them? They were unsure; all they knew was that their lives were going to be changed. But for now, Joseph needed to find them a place to stay.
They went to an inn and were told that there was no room for them there, but they were welcome to stay in the stable out back. I wonder what would have happened if Joseph would have told the inn keeper that the Son of God was about to be born. Would the inn keeper have asked all of the other boarders to leave and go sleep in the stable? Or would he just have asked the people staying in the best room to stay in the stable? I’ll never know because Joseph didn’t tell the inn keeper that a miracle was about to happen, and so Jesus came into the world having already been turned away.
As I think about Jesus’ birth in the stable, I wonder if we, some 2000 years later, are any different than the inn keeper. We go to church, read our Bibles or a special story, and something, even for a brief moment, touches our hearts and Jesus knocks. “Is there room for Me here?” He asks. We tell Him no, we can’t make room for Him, but He can stay out back. We don’t want to give up any of the rooms in our hearts, not the rooms where the ambition stays, or where our desires reside, or the dislike for that neighbor or any of the other secret rooms. Those are our rooms and we like them the way they are, and so we turn Jesus away.
Much like the inn keeper, we miss something really big. We are willing to sacrifice what Jesus wants to do because we do not want to be inconvenienced with a little house cleaning. This year I have a simple Christmas wish: When we feel Him knocking, let’s make room for Jesus.
"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with them, and he with me." - Revelation 3:20
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