Pruning

I remember at our first house in Midland deciding that we needed some rose bushes in the backyard. I bought a book that told how to properly feed, water, care for and prune rose bushes. Then we planted six bushes in the backyard flower beds.

Everything went great; as long as I paid attention to the bushes, they would just grow and grow. They produced some beautiful Tiffany roses and would grow well into the fall. The problems would occur when I did not keep up with the pruning. When not pruned, the branches would start to grow out instead of up and before long, the branches from neighboring bushes would grow together and become entangled. That was when pruning became difficult. I would usually have to start with small cuts and then work my way into the bush to get it back in the shape it should have been. Once pruned back, the roses would begin growing tall and beautiful again.

I have started to realize that a life with Christ is a lot like those rose bushes. There are times that we can grow straight and beautiful. Then there are times when we don't pay attention and things in life start to grow together and get all tangled up. Then the Master Gardener has to come along and do some pruning. That pruning can hurt--a lot. But once he is done cutting out the old tangled and ugly branches, we can once again begin to grow straight and beautiful.

There has been a lot of pruning the last two years. Just when I think it is all done, it seems like Jesus finds one more thing that needs to be pruned. Initially that pruning has been painful, but over time it has become a relief to have the old cut away so that the new can grow. I am so looking forward to being the rose bush that Jesus wants me to be.

No Smell of Fire

Several months ago I read through the book of Daniel. I still enjoy reading the old Bible stories, but sometimes my familiarity with the stories causes me to overlook some of the lessons that God wants me to learn. I am learning that whenever I miss the lesson, God will eventually lead me back.

That was the case with the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. The story of their trial is told in the third chapter of Daniel. If you do not know the story, you should probably read it. Go ahead, I will wait here for you....

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego's refusal to acknowledge the king as a god and bow to his figure has lead them to face their trial. The king has them bound and thrown into a fire that is so hot that the soldiers throwing them in died. However, when the king looks into the fire, he sees four men--not just the three who were thrown in. I personally believe that the fourth man was the Lord. What I get from this is that the Lord does not just lead us to our trials and then abandon us to flounder around on our own. He is in there walking with us through our trials.

I also noticed that although the three men were bound by soldiers before being thrown into the fire, that the king sees them walking around loose in the fire. These past two years there have been times that I have been frustrated by the restrictions that I now face. Although they were bound when thrown into the fire, that same fire burned off the bounds, and now I realize that there are times that God does not use our trials to bind us but to set us free from that which has us bound.

Once the king tells the men to come out of the fire, all of the high officials gather around. They notice that the men have been so protected from the fire that no physical harm has come to the men or their clothing. Then the officials notice that there is not even the smell of fire on them. That is the way with my current trial. If you were to meet me on the street, you would not be able to tell that I have lung cancer. Just like Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego, the only way you would know my story is for me to tell you. Here we are thousands of years later, and we still know the story of these men. The only way other people will know of our trials and what God has done, is if we tell them.

The last thing I noticed is that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego's lives were never the same. My Bible says that the king caused them to prosper in the province of Babylon. Had they not gone through this trial, they would not have received the blessings that came after. Sometimes I think that I would just like to have my life back to the way it was, but then I wonder what blessings I would miss out on if I was not going through this trial.

An old story has taught new lessons that are leading to a story to be told.

Lessons from a Dead Battery

I have gotten bored riding my fixie around the neighborhood and decided that it was time to venture outside those bounds. This Saturday morning I felt that the time was right to get out and hit the roads for a little ride. Since I had not ridden my road bike for several months, I had to re-inflate the tires and find all of my bike riding stuff. Once out the door, I walked my bike down the walk to the street. As per my usual routine, I pressed to bike computer start button to begin tracking my ride distance and speed. A blank screen looked back at me. Using my astute engineering mind, I pressed the button a second and third time, expecting a different response. Nothing. Realizing that the battery was dead, I decided that I would just ride and enjoy the ride and not worry about how fast and how far I was riding.

As I rode along, I would instinctively look at the computer to check my progress. It finally hit me that this morning that, although I knew my destination, I would not know how far I had come, how far I had to go, or how fast I would get there. I am still surprised when, where, and what God uses to teach me a lesson. But through that dead battery came a lesson about fighting cancer. My fight against cancer is much like my situation this morning. I know my destination, but I do not know how far I have come, how far I have to get there, or how fast I will get there.

As I pedaled along, I realized that this cancer fight is not that much different than living life. On the timeline of my life, I know my final destination but not how far I have come, how far I have to go, or how fast I will get there. Other than being confident of my final destination, that isn't much different than everyone else. None of us can know how long our journey on this earth will be. No one is promised tomorrow. All we can do is lock down our final destination.

I am praying that you have the assurance of knowing your final destination.

Uncertainty

There have been a few nights lately when I wake up and have been unable to go back to sleep. I will toss and turn, and with each flip another question will come to mind: "How long will this medicine work? Will I live to be 55 or 105? How come the medicine has been so effective for me? Will I know if the cancer comes back?"

As I think about these questions, I realize that they all have one thing in common: uncertainty. As long as I can remember, I have known my plans--where I would go and what I would do. I do not do well with uncertainty. Now it seems like there is nothing certain. There are no answers for the questions that swirl through my mind.

At times my life seems to be a storm of uncertainty. But in that storm, there is One that I can turn to that is certain. He continues to walk with me and guide me through this mess. He has lifted me up and placed my feet on solid ground. He knows where I have been and where I am going before I do. I am thankful that Jesus is here to calm the storm.

What about you? Do you have anyone that you can turn to when the storms of life threaten to pull you under? If not, seek out Jesus.

Purpose - Part 2

We had talked on the phone. He had just been diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. The call had been arranged through mutual friends, and he wanted to know about my experience and treatment. I liked him and we had things in common: he loved his family, he loved his wife, and he loved Jesus. He also was intent on beating lung cancer but knew the odds were against him. Now just ten months later, his journey has come to an end. Cancer has taken another one.

Although I knew none of his treatments had been successful at slowing or stopping the cancer, the news of his passing made me stop and think. Two men traveling the same road. One's journey has come to an end; the other's continues. God's plan and purpose is unique for each man. One plan and purpose has been completed; the other marches on, but what is the reason?

I still struggle with what God's plan and purpose in all of this can be. Sometimes I think I understand it, but then I think that there has to be more to it. I know that God is working and that somehow, some way all of this will be for His glory. That does not make it any easier. These thoughts were churning in my mind as I walked one day, and I just started to talk to God, and I just asked, "Is that all there is, or is there another purpose?" From nowhere came that same voice that I have heard before: "They're watching," was all it said. I still do not know who they are, but somewhere there is someone watching me. How I handle this battle against my faith will impact someone's life.

I believe that God's plan is perfect and unchanging. He has one singular plan, but His plan encompasses more than one purpose. Each day that I continue this journey, I turn another page in God's plan, but His purpose may change from day to day. I have to be prepared and available to be a part of God's purpose each day.

21

Back in 1995, I was finishing up my MBA. I had spent way too many evenings away from home and family. One Wednesday evening, I didn't have any classwork and was able to pick the boys up from church. On the way home, the two boys were chattering away in the back seat, when Chad asked, "Daddy, how much longer do you have to go to school?" I replied, "Just a few more weeks, why?" Shane then said, "We just want our daddy back." Ouch! I had not considered how my being gone so much affected the boys.

That memory came back to me the other day while I was out for my walk. Walking is about the only form of exercise that I can get these days. Sometimes during my walks, I start to think how much cancer has taken from me and my family. Pieces of my life are gone, and life will never be the same. I am slowly coming to grips with that, but what disturbs me the most is that it just does not seem right that my family has to go through this.

I remember the first time I saw my dad in a real medical emergency. He was much older than I am now, and I was much older than the boys. I still remember how my heart ached when I realized that he someday would be gone. When I remember that, it just really saddens me that at this time in their lives my boys should have to think about things like that and watch their daddy as bits of his life fade away.

This next week, that little guy in the back seat turns twenty-one. More than anything else, I wish I could give him his daddy back.

The Potter and His Clay

When I would sing the first stanza from the old hymn "Have Thine Own Way, Lord!" I thought the verse had a gentle sentiment: Mold me, make me. I could envision the gentle hand of the potter forming the clay as it spun on the wheel. The potter knowing that with any wrong move the clay would crumple into a heap on the wheel.

That was what I thought until I saw a pottery demonstration. We had gone to Eureka Springs to see The Great Passion Play. While waiting for the gates to open, we walked around and happened onto the pottery demonstration being given by the actor that would portray Jesus in the play that evening. I watched as he picked up a clump of clay and began forming it into a ball; gently rolling it around in his hands. Suddenly, he hit the clay with his fist and began pulling on it before forming a ball again. He repeated this a couple of times, explaining as he went that he had to soften up the clay and make it compliant before he could make anything.

I have thought about this scene and hymn more than a few times the past couple of months. Putting the two of them together, I have come to the conclusion that when Jesus is the potter, sometimes before Jesus can use you, He has to make you useful. Yes, it maybe uncomfortable and at times painful, but when He is done, you realize that through the pain, He has made something wonderful.