I started taking LDK378 in mid-January and now, eight months later, my scans, again, show no evidence of disease. With the help of the doctors, the nurses, the radiologists, the medicine, and the grace of God for the second time in three years, we have been able to defeat the beast in my chest. The thing is that no man can anymore explain why I have had such a good response to the medicines as they can explain why I have lung cancer. I am just one of those people; I am not typical. It has given me much to think about.
For the past three years I have, on average, seen a doctor every three to four weeks. I have had scans or some other test every six to eight weeks. One thing I have noticed about fighting cancer: There is a lot of idle time. I tend to spend my idle time in the waiting rooms and during tests thinking. I want so desperately to find the answers and to understand the reasons we are traveling the road we are on. But I don't have any more of the answers than I did three years ago. I think about people we have met on this road and how many of them needed to be encouraged. Had it not been for my journey, I would not have been able to encourage them. Often times, the people who need some encouragement are the people who have come to treat me. The thought came to me that these people deal with and see so much death, that they need to see life sometimes.
There are times that I believe God is trying to teach me something through this experience. As I sit and think about these past three years, I am beginning to wonder, "Did God allow cancer to enter my body so that He could more fully teach me the depths of His love for me?" That's a real mind bender. Does God allow trials to enter our lives in order to bless us and others through those trials? All I know is that if I not had cancer, I would have missed so many blessings. Without cancer, I would not see God the way I see Him today.
Long before I had cancer, I had another deadly disease--sin. As I have contemplated beating cancer a second time, I am struck by the parallel between my physical battle and my spiritual condition. In much the same way that, thanks to the medicine, when the doctors look at me, they see no evidence of disease. Spiritually, because of the saving grace provided me by Jesus' death on the cross, when God looks at me, He sees no evidence of the disease of sin.
As someone who's never had cancer, I hesitate to even comment. However, after reading your latest post, I can't help but thinking of the book of James 1:2-5. I am not 'happy' that you have had to go through all of this, but as one of the people who has been blessed by your trial -- I must say that I'm glad you shared your story and continue to share your faith victories. I am blessed. And I am thankful to God. And thank you for your truck story, too. I have always struggled with the purchase of a car -- how to glorify God in that area of my life. And yet, I agree with you -- nothing is coincidental -- and that goes back to the book of James again -- -chapter 4 this time, in asking with the wrong motives. (we've been studying James, can you tell? :) Once again thank you for sharing. I pray you are coninually blessed by God as you continue to be a blessing to others!
ReplyDeleteChris, I was actually reading through a few of your posts and just had a quick question about your blog. I was hoping you could email me back when you get the chance, thanks so much.
ReplyDeleteEmmy
Ok - so I just read your CarePage update and it sent me over to your blog and I just realized I've already posted - but I need to post again. :) This past week, as I've been struggling with a decision, I felt like God gave me a verse - in the middle of the night. We had a couple baby snakes in the house a few weeks ago and so when I got up one night, I thought there was a snake on my bathroom floor. Turned on the light, and it was a towel! So silly - it wasn't what I thought because the room was dark. And this verse popped into my head: "Now you see as through a glass (mirror) ..." but I couldn't remember the rest. I googled it in the morning (easier than the concordance) and found 1 Cor 13:12 - " For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face; now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." -- that's KJV (what google pulled up) --- and God spoke to my heart --- that I can't see everything clearly now -- I can't always see His purposes -- but I can trust Him -- trust that He can see -- and that He knows (and cares!) -- I was overwhelmed that He gave this word to me. He didn't give me an answer to my dilemma, but He gave me reassurance. I know that He's given that to you time and time again -- but it was a wow moment for me and I wanted to share it with you -- seems that it goes along with this blog post -- that sometimes we may never know the Why. But... we can always be a blessing along the way! Thanks -- and I'm praying about those numbers! ) Amy
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