Blessed Assurance

Well, here I sit.  In slightly less than forty-eight hours I will again be injected with a radioactive glucose solution and placed in a machine to be scanned from the tip of my nose to my belly button.  The results of the scan will show if the lung cancer has continued to advance or if we have struck a blow against this beast in my chest.  As I think about this, I can't help but think that I should feel more anxious about this next week, but strangely I don't.  I have shared before how I was told that the battle would be long and hard but that I would be healed.  Even since that time, God has continued to give me assurances that eventually I will be healed.  I pray daily that he would let me in on the time line and plan but He has chosen not to do that.  Until such time He chooses to give me more details, I will have to live with the assurances He has given me.

One morning after beginning the Tarceva, I could feel fatigue beginning to set in.  I had finished my morning devotional reading and asked God to give me a little extra for the day.  The Bible that I use is the Life Application Study Bible.  At the beginning of each book, there is an introduction and blueprint for that book.  After asking God for the little extra, I randomly opened my Bible.  I looked down to see that my Bible had opened to the introduction to Matthew.  I thought I must have missed by a page or two and flipped back and forth.  Not seeing anything else, I had decided to just close my Bible and get on with my day.  That's when I heard this slightly exasperated voice in my head say "just read the introduction."  As I read, I remember thinking to myself, what does this have to do with fighting cancer.  As soon as I reached the final paragraph, my eyes began to tear.  There were these words:

"As you read this Gospel, listen to Matthew's clear message: Jesus is the Christ, the King of kings and Lord of lords.  Celebrate his victory over evil and death, and make Jesus the Lord of your life."

Jesus has already fought this battle for me and I look forward to the day that we can rejoice in His victory.

After coming home from the hospital from the bout with pneumonia, I was unable to get comfortable in bed one evening.  Instead of lying there thinking whatever random thoughts popped into my head, I decided to go lay on the couch.  After reading a little from another book, I felt that I should read my Bible.  I said a prayer along the lines of 'God, I am not feeling too good tonight.  Please show me something that there are better days ahead.'  I opened my Bible and there before my eyes was Malachi 4:2.

"But for you who fear My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings; and you will go forth and skip about like calves from the stall."

That, my friends, brings a whole new meaning to sunrise.

Finally, I am going to tell you something that after you read it, you may be tempted to call the guys in the white jackets.  The Bible talks about angels and how we are each given one.  However, I may be the only person who is going to admit to actually seeing his. 

While I was going through all of the diagnostic testing, early one morning I was asleep in the hotel room.  I was having a dream, and in my dream I was in the same hotel room and facing the door to the bedroom. Suddenly I realized  that there was a man standing in the door way.  I remember thinking, "Why is that man in the doorway?"  He was dressed in either a robe or gown that was tied at the waist.  Slowly he walked across the room to my side of the bed.  As I looked at him, he bent over and laid his hand on my chest.  The sensation of being touched was so real that it startled me awake.  I have thought about this for several weeks trying to figure out what it all meant.  I have finally concluded that this was my guardian angel simply telling me that he is in this battle with me and watching over me.     

As I head into this next week that will determine what direction we go next, I am leaning on these blessed assurances.

Thanks once again to everyone who is out there praying for me.