Eye of the Storm

We have just completed our first day at MDA.  DeLayne asked me after we got back to the hotel if I ever felt anxious today.  I replied that no I never really did.  Part of that may have been due to having DeLayne's brother and sister-in-law here Wednesday evening to show us the ropes.  It helps when you have had people who have gone before you help lead you into the battle. 

Another part of it is this constant feeling I have that God has been laying the foundation for the events to come for many, many years.  Take for instance DeLayne getting the urge to reconnect with friends from 20 years ago.  Turns out that some of them have fought the cancer battle and now call or e-mail their prayers and encouragement.  Or the young lady I met in Bangkok almost 12 years ago who moved to the U.S.  This young lady walked into my office two days after the diagnoses and asked if she could pray for me.  These are just two of the instances that confirm to me that God has a plan and will give me the peace and grace to fight this battle.  I have tried to describe to friends the sense of calm that both DeLayne and I feel but the only way I can think of is to say that we are living in the eye of the storm.  Where we are right now is calm but if we try to look too far ahead, all we see is the rolling, boiling storm clouds and we feel the uncertainty of it all.

There is a great story in the Bible about Peter, my favorite disciple.  The disciples have all gotten in a boat to sail to the other side of the sea.  Jesus has stayed behind for the evening.  Then in the middle of the night, the disciples see a figure walking on the water.  At first they believe it to be a spirit but then realize that it is Jesus.  Peter calls out to Him and tells Jesus that if it is really Him to say so and he will come out to Him.  The next thing Peter knows he is out of the boat and walking on the water too.  Everything is fine until Peter takes his eyes off of Jesus.  Peter notices the wind and the clouds and starts to sink.  He calls out to Jesus and Jesus takes his hand and pulls Peter back to the surface.  This story has really struck home with me the last few weeks.  As long as I keep my focus on Jesus daily I do not see the storm around me and I sense the calmness of His love for me.  Once I try and get too far ahead, I see the storm starting to boil and can get scared.

If doubt is going to find its way in, it will come in the night.  That is when everyone is in bed and the house is quiet and I am alone with my thoughts.  Thankfully, twenty years ago I heard a song that now is sustaining me during these times.  Back in the 1980s, Rich Mullins  wrote a song titled Hold Me Jesus.  I have loved this song since I first heard it and now the first two versus and chorus have become my almost nightly prayer. 

Please pray for the right people to be in the right place at the right time.

Love you all.